Mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness has become a hype in the last few years. Even corporations have cottoned on to the benefits and encourage their employees, at long full day seminars to participate in restful practice for half an hour after lunch, in specially arranged rooms. The aim is to slow down and re-charge batteries, all in the name of a good work life balance.

Many associate mindfulness with meditation, which it is, and meditation is often thought of as religious pass-times for Hindus or Buddhists. Westerners though, have for many decades been interested in these Eastern practices, without the religious dogmas, seeing it as beneficial to mental and emotional health thus overall spiritual well-being. Unlike Islamic or Christian prayer, in mediation there is no-one to speak to. One doesn't request blessings or inquire about any guidance.

For those unaffiliated with meditation, the idea might sound new age but meditation is an old age practice. Yet it still fits in well with modern human aspiration and my hope is that one day it will be taught in all schools and practised at home in families as part of daily life. Firstly, it's the best antidote to techno-stress and modern life. Secondly, the time set aside to meditate is like massaging your brain from the inside out. It is a healthy practice and could reduce light ailments for those who are unable to shake off negative emotions, fears and unhealthy psychological flaws. Thirdly, just being, is an art that adds creativity to your life. You'll be more attuned to nature, more able to distinguish between what is important or not and  therefore life more intentionally in areas that are good for you.

In 1986, already interested in eastern religions because of its philosophies, I undertook a Transcendental Meditation course. (TM) It was a mini-retreat, held at a simple location, with simple wooden chairs for lectures and empty rooms with a floor mat for meditations. Instructors, candles and incense were also part of the introduction but none of all previously mentioned facilities are  necessary to start meditating.

 "I don't have the time," is the common answer from people new to the idea. 

We live in a world, overrun with 24 hour news, social media that captures our attention, full working lives for both men and women, and in addition we have access to any entertainment at the touch of a button. It all keeps us busy. Busy, busy busy. Yes life is about action, creativity and doing but its mindful to meditate and take one out of the continuously reactive state to the world, putting  you in a place away from the busyness. Of course, our jobs, children families, social lives etc. demand attention and help us grow, but growing is also done alone, not only in perpetual busyness constantly. In fact the latter only drains our internal battery. It's easy to become lost in our stresses, driven by self-induced pressure or pleasure seeking,  thinking "I need to do this, I want to do that, I must not forget..." However, everything material that we do, collect or participate in will one day cease to exist, and in between all that clutter and sometimes self-created chaos, we deserve to find some moments of quiet just for ourselves and this is what meditation delivers.

The aim of meditation is to rest your mind to give your intentions clarity.  It is about just being and attuning yourself to your breathing state of existence.  It may sound strange or even seem difficult at first because it is so simple. "Doing nothing" while we close our eyes to only focus on breath, is quite unnatural for most. Perhaps reading a few books beforehand about meditation purpose is helpful. I can recommend "The Science of Being and Art of Living" by the author and founder of Transcendental Meditation, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. TM though is but one of many methods.  Mahesh Yogi was an Indian guru who spent the latter years of his life, from 1992 onwards in the Hague, the Netherlands. He taught the Beatles and thus TM became extremely popular, in later years, bringing out scandals of mis-used funds, over pricing and fake levitation. As a leader of a Natural Law Party that was non-religious, and due to the size the organization grew too, with multiple universities across the globe, TM was bound to fall into the human trap of erring. That though should not detract from the original essence of the movement of which the philosophy is fairly simple.

Here is Maharishi Mahesh Yogi on CNN with Larry King in 2009. It was from an earlier interview as he died in Holland in 2008 at the age of 90. 

In TM,  consciousness is described as several states of being. The first three of our known and experienced consciousness states are the waking, sleeping and dreaming state. TM methodology introduced the 4th as the Transcendental state. Although after the first three states, it is not necessarily 'higher' just a  more natural and peaceful state of being that transcends the busy pre-occupied mind that is never satisfied and moves into creative intelligence. TM describes the waking state, where most of our experience is lived every moment, as a windswept sea, with choppy waves breaking on the surface constantly. The waves are your thoughts, as you rush through your busy day and life, keen to succeed, achieve, enjoy or just live. TM aims to calm the surface by moving to the depths of the water underneath.

The methodology encourages meditating for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening, but times and length should be arranged to what is suitable for you. By concentrating on your breathing and following each breath through, a busy mind moves to emptiness and reaches a liberated state where it ceases to think. Naturally, the first meditations and 10 minutes of each meditation can be difficult as our mind insists on thinking. But with practice and patience, eventually, we transcend these busy thoughts and in the last 5 minutes of a meditation, you experience an openness of mind, that is rested, at peace and transcendent to life's distractions, stresses and busyness.  A place where there is only quiet and being.

If you have ever deep-dived, you will know the experience of sitting on the ocean floor at 40 m deep, where there is only the sound of your breathing through a regulator, no talking, slow thinking and a quietness of nature not experienced above water.  In meditation you will reach a similar place. Eventually though, there will be no thoughts and if there are, they dissipate quickly once you observe them as they arise, from behind  closed eyes. Breathing slows down,  you are attentive only to the present moment and through your extremely relaxed state, you might suddenly take a deep inhalation because even your breathing is at rest. This physical rest calms your mental and emotional state.

Meditation is a habit and it needs discipline and time to step away from everything around you to just focus on being. Not being somebody for somebody, everyone or even just yourself, but simply being. Being at one with life itself in every way. Transcending our ordinary waking state feels like obtaining a cleaner consciousness. As Mahesh Yogi described it, a place of creative intelligence. One that is more focussed on what is essential, not the clutter of life, but life itself. It is a heavenly escape to quiet in a busy world and as you commence your daily routine you will feel calmer. Things won't worry you as much and that will strengthen any mood towards a more positive outlook.

If you live in a busy household, ask those around not to disturb you for a while. Set a timer to help you orientate. Try it for at least 30 days. Give it a chance to and time for you to find the truth of your own essence and leave behind the "this, that and what have you" of our busy world, to focus more on your day to day living more consciously. Meditation is like watering the roots of your mind and this is not to say that one doesn't do this now in various ways you find rest, it's only that meditation will take it a step further.

Once you are an experienced meditator, you will be able to meditate anywhere. In a crowded bus or metro, and in a busy room of talkative people. All it takes is a few seconds of concentrating on your breath, raising awareness of it to temporarily liberate you from your mind full of thoughts. It might make you feel sleepy in the beginning but as time goes on it is energizing.

One can also start meditating with the assistance of an App. I tried and tested, the Calm app, (free) which sends time reminders, and has music to assist relaxation. Another is the Waking Up Course, by Sam Harris,  just released in the I-Tunes store. It's good for beginners, with 10 minutes sessions,  and provides a beginner's commentary  with some extra podcast lessons on subjects such as Free Will. Free will you might wonder? Well, how much free will do we have over our thoughts? Can you stop a thought before you think it? The App by the way, has already received well over 2000 positive reviews.

We could all do with being calmer and more positive.  You don't have to become a vegetarian, change your diet, be religious, put on candles, incense, or music. All it is about is you and your breathing and taking time out to rejuvenate your conscious sparkle by resting your mind. The clarity and lightness takes time to develop but it will be worth it. Here is a recent scientific publication about mediation:  

Mindfulness meditation centrally involves awareness of intentions and is associated with improved metacognitive access to intentions. 

 

ALTHOUGH SECULAR LIVING HAS CHANGED FAMILY STRUCTURE WE STILL NEED TO OFFER A MORAL COMPASS TO THE YOUNGER GENERATIONS

While losing our religion has led to a more thoughtful and aware population, it seems the lack of spiritual aspect to many family lives has also led to the downgrading of connected  lives. Once families are broken, there is no quick  "let's get saved"  remedy.  So whilst adults are free to live in any style or path they choose, freedoms of emotional stability from a solid family backing for the  next generation are constantly being taken away and the emotional effects are everlasting. Does  secular living need to re-evaluate its values to improve the statistics of such high divorce rates or is the trend of single families going to continue increasing? It does seem that religious homes manage better than secular ones, in keeping their families together and in providing a solid home and community base. So what's up with the secular community, do we have fewer values?

Statistics in most western countries show just a 50% chance of marriage success. While our older generations still celebrate golden and diamond wedding anniversaries, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip having just celebrated their 70^th, modern contrast counts millions of children from divorced homes. In fact sometimes 50%. Where custody rights are shared, kids live mobile lives between two houses and are sometimes being parented by four adults. Sometimes irresponsible parents forgo their duties and seldom see their children. Through expansion of human rights, many governments have also extended legalised marriage and parenting to non-heterosexual couples, thus the structural content of family home life continues to change. Additionally, many are opting to remain childless. The latter is one of the reasons why Europe continues to accept immigrants and migrant work, apart from compassionate acceptance of refugees from war ridden Syria. In the future, any taxed salary in a Social Democratic state, contributes to government budget which in turn gets used for society in medical expenses and pensions for the elderly.

It is commonly known in the psychology and psychiatry world that  many who come from broken or dysfunctional homes, often have difficulty later in life in keeping their own families together or in basic personality and emotional development.  Of course, not everyone who had a difficult childhood suffers the same but genetically, while some are more inclined to deal with life set-backs and knocks capably some are more predisposed to struggling with things such as depression or reckless lives. Divorce in my view though, is still morally correct if it removes children from abusive parents,  an environment of conflict or an unhealthy partnership. In the interests of modern society and its future though, we should be asking why family life is in such disarray for so many.  Has fewer religious values, and an age of materialist consumerism added to more unsuccessful, easy come easy go relationships? Does materialism and instant gratification change our cultural values and do they also give rise to depression,  addictions to substances or obesity and eating disorders? 

I would imagine that families who financially struggle, working multiple jobs with its added stress and struggling to make ends meet, are  more susceptible to family disintegration under the throes of modern life pressure.   Families that cannot afford extra curricular activities to enrich children's lives such as music lessons, ballet, sport or other interests, are at a disadvantage because their children might be missing the opportunity to learn dedication to a cause, how to win and lose and how to be a team player which is essential in life. 

Instead many children all over the world are often left to cheap entertainment such as TV reality shows and only streets to play on. The former shows life long family disputes and infidelity as 'entertainment' yet comparatively, formal media continues to advertise love, family and relationships in a fairy tale light of twinkling stars. In reality, many families are broken, children are not college educated as it is too costly and working class families perpetuate their difficult living path. While advertising portrays life as reaching success through constant happiness, emphasizing perfection, it doesn't match the daily slog of life for the majority, who are juggling jobs, raising children in busy modern lives with all its responsibilities. 

When parents choose for themselves, split and the family falls apart, children always bear the brunt. So while we're giving modern children every modern convenience and gadget available, we are also thrusting them into emotional challenges at very young ages.  Where ex-spouses continue to engage in life-long disputes  general lack of emotional cohesion grows even further. Stability begins at home and develops in education. Today, any curriculum can be learnt online, but it's the class time with others that grows character and develops EQ where children learn to be a team player, win and lose, and build social skills. However, if the example at home is contradictory,  education will not override personal roots or foundation.  

School is temporary and educators may do their best to empower the youth but they are not in control of the home life of every child, and the blue print of each subjective reality is brought to a class of 25 other subjective realities every day. Family lives are permanent, so basic foundation comes from the caregivers and they thus are the most important programmers of character.  Secular living and bad examples at home though are not the only thing to effect the younger generation. For centuries, emotionally imbalanced offspring can also stem from families where overly critical or perfectionist parents, push their children to continuously succeed.  The other end of the scale are over nurturing parents, who  over compliment, molly coddle and praise even when their offspring are under achieving. The latter, extremely prevalent in the current century, does not prepare children for life realities and how to deal with disappointments or setbacks later on. 

To conclude, our current era might not be growing the most emotionally balanced youth, and this might very well stem from the fact that in this "I" age, we are so concerned with our own happiness that we forget that every action has a reaction on someone else. On our children it's lifelong, so think carefully before you choose your partner and start a family. Are you having children for your ego or because this is just what biology and society does? Or are you really committed to the result of your actions and willing to hold onto values, without a God to punish you as you enjoy the secular pleasures of life?  It is better to fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with someone else to fill your life gaps and definitely don't have children to improve a failing relationship. 

Foundational happiness begins by being truly content not with anything on the outside but with the very magical fact that you exist. Love life and love yourself without being selfish and maybe we can decrease the amount of children growing up in single parent or double homes. We might be secular, but that doesn't mean we should pass on less commitment to the younger generation.