Podcasts: Matt Walsh from Spirituality blog Spirituality and Perfectionism
Today's blog is from Dr. Matthew Welsh, J.D., Ph.D. the Founder of Spiritual Media Blog Thanks Matt for providing this post, an important message to everyone.
Learning to Accept Ourselves When we are Feeling Imperfect
One of my life goals is to be authentic. Initially, this may seem or sound simple. Being authentic simply means to be true to yourself, speak your truth, or live your values. However, one of the hardest parts about being authentic is recognizing that I am not perfect. Thus, part of being authentic is giving myself permission to be imperfect.
This has been a struggle for me at times. I strive for perfection, have high goals for myself, and push myself beyond what most would believe to be comfortable thresholds. The advantages of this are that I have become extremely disciplined with how I spend my time. I often (but not always) achieve my goals, but when I fall short of them I am still able to feel good about my results because of the effort I have put forth.
However, the down side of striving for perfection is that when I fall short in any aspect of my life, I am at risk of not being happy or feeling unsatisfied. Additionally, I can be excessively hard on myself when I don't reach my goals. As I often put so much pressure on myself it is sometimes difficult to enjoy the inevitable ups and downs of life, its twists and turns, zigs and zags that come with living life and being human.
Part of the antidote for this is to recognize that to be authentic, I must give myself permission to be imperfect and still be happy by accepting myself for who I am at this moment and current life circumstances. This does not mean lowering standards or not trying to change circumstances. It is simply accepting where you are and feeling good about the progress made in some areas, recognizing what I would prefer to change in other areas of my life. Helpful thoughts to aid this process include:
- My self-worth encompasses more than my external circumstances (e.g., weight, financial worth, career, relationships)
- My invisible self is shining right now and worthy of love
- I will permit myself to be happy, even if everything is not exactly how I would like it to be
- I may not like my current circumstances, but I am willing to accept them.
- I am going to be kind and compassionate to myself today.
Fighting our current circumstances often leads to unhelpful thoughts such as: I should/must/need to have more money, improved relationships, or better body/weight to be happy, feel relaxed and accept myself for who I am. This type of perfectionist thinking distracts us from being in tune with our higher self or spirit. Plus, our self worth and attraction is often viewed by others to be completely different than how we view ourselves when we are demanding perfection. If we really want to be authentic, then it can help to learn to accept our imperfections just as much as our strengths, even if our life is not exactly how we would like it to be.
Peace,
The website that features guest posts, articles, interviews, and reviews about spirituality, psychology, and inspirational entertainment. Dr. Welsh created it after graduating from law school aiming for it to be a source of inspirational content, media, and entertainment. He began his career in Hollywood working for the entertainment William Morris Agency, and then worked as a trial lawyer for the Department of Child Services in Indiana. Not happy working as a lawyer, he quit his job to pursue his calling to become a psychologist and obtained his PhD in Psychology. He now works as a full-time psychologist. Spiritual Media Blog is a creative outlet for his passions related to psychology, spirituality, and inspirational entertainment and he hopes that it provides you with content that is practical, inspirational, and entertaining.
